My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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