I have demons in me.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I can't turn off my feet"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
