I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
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