Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
