I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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