wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
