there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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