May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
