I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
