he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
