I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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