everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
