Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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