help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
