I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
