I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
do herpes really smell.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
