windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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