I am puke
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
