Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
