If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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