I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever