woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.