then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize