for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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