just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
