Got a toothbrush?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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