70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
