If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
