where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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