New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
