Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize