The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
