hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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