The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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