Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
