Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
How external is "for external use only"?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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