The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Randomize
