We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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