so that wasnt chicken after all
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
