I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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