Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Green mimosas i think yes
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
