So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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