Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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