Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
