The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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