its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
