I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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