He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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