Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
