I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
