well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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