3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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