There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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