Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
