Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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