He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Randomize
