I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
