Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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