Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
