The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
