i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
