We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
