I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
