Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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